"And there you are"

+ Finishing tons and tons of my homework before 4pm
+ Understanding way more about God, tons and tons more
+ Gaining a new random person to talk to
+ Hanging out with sister
+ Buying healthy snacks
+ Increasing my vocabulary

- Ate hella junky food
- Knowing most of the words to HSM3 (Hahah)
- No exercises, unless I do them before I sleep =/
- Didn't do any more homework

Two things:
One, for the first time in a while, I'm looking forward to going to church. I mean, I haven't gone that much recently at all, and even though I went last week, I wasn't really "okay, this is gonna be good." But really, I feel interested again, and it's definately easier when I understand more and have had more of my questions answered. For instance, the whole thing about people sinning, but still "believing" in God bugged me. It was hard for me to think like, well, then it doesn't really matter if you sin right, if all your sins are forgiven? And stuff like that. But then talking to this guy, and the story he said was: There's a lady who's married to her husband and her husband tells her "My love for you is unconditional and I am going to love you forever." So the lady had cheated on him, and so she tells him and asks "Do you still love me?" And his answer is that "Yes, because my love for you goes beyond all reason." I can't remember all of it, but it was something like that. And so, knowing that her husband will still love her if she cheats, she continues to do it. And that's how alot of people's sin is looked at, and that's what I was having trouble with. But then, if you think about it, if the lady loves her husband really, she wouldn't want to hurt him. So it's like, although God would forgive you for your sins, you shouldn't want to sin because it's not what God wants for you, and if you love him, you wouldn't want to hurt him.

Two, I feel like having faith. And just putting all my thoughts aside. There's that thing like, "faith is taking the first step when you can't see the whole staircase." I'm not even just talking about religion, although it'd be nice if for once I could finally believe fully, but everything. I don't know how many times I haven't done something because I was afraid of what came next, or I didn't think anything good would come of it. I'm such a negative person. But these days, I just feel like believing in the good things, and I don't want to be pessimistic anymore.