It's never going to go away. Fuck, I think thats obvious right now. It's weird because in one way I love it, but in another I spend all my energy fighting it. I hate having these feelings again. I really do. It's the type of shit that doesn't end well. And it is so much easier to just be friends, you know? Cause without the feelings you dont get the jealousy and heartache. But I love being around him, no joke.
Everything I just wrote I should delete.
And this is where I start to second guess everything, and compare it all, and look for doubts and flaws to convince myself I should just leave it alone.
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